i feel like a bad person... as happy as i am for ben that mogwai made regionals i am equally as frustrated that they made regionals- does that even make sense? i mean, i know this is a step in a life goal for him which is why i am thrilled for him, but i dont understand why he works so hard at making me feel bad about frisbee. sectionals took place this weekend... i asked if he wanted me to come down on sunday to watch... his response, "i think it's in vermont" later when we found out it was about an hour and half away i asked again. his response, "nah, you don't have to". it isn't about having to... the question was about whether or not he wanted me there. why wouldn't he want me there with him? why doesn't he want me to support his dream? why does he want to keep me separate from such a huge part of his life? I know these are questions i need to ask him, but it doesn't seem that he has the time to sit down and answer, really answer my questions. i feel like i am just a roommate... nothing more, nothing less.
when good things happen, he is the one i want to call. when times are difficult he is the person i want to make me feel better. recently it doesn't feel reciprocated- i don't know.
on an up side... baxter and acadia were fun. i forgot how much i like being away from it all and spending time on the trail and sleeping in a tent and not being controlled by cell phones and the internet and these false obligations... we are heading back to baxter this up coming weekend... we will climb katahdin and attempt one more time Knife's Edge. I think if it doesn't work out this time, i am giving up on that trail.
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