sunday, sunday

I have been thinking a lot about life recently and trying to sort out what makes me genuinely happy and what makes me happy in the moment. if anyone has answers, i surely welcome them.

I find it hard to believe that a year has passed since this whole ben and i situation began... and i know technically it has been longer than a year, but really only a year of caring about each other as more than the drunkin stagger home. It will be interesting to see what happens as the weather gets nicer and we want to be outside more often with things to do. I don't want to start staying at his house again. I don't want to live out of my car or a bag or a pile of clothes in his room. I don't want to smush into a twin size bed on High Street. He however is going back and forth on us living in Westbrook. I think he wants to, correction, i know he wants to, but living together is a big deal and he has never lived with a girlfriend before... so I am not sure how that will play out. I think once he realizes that if he goes back to Portland, I won't be there with him it will change his mind to thinking that moving in here is absolutely what he wants.

I have a long run today... Coach Mike's workouts have really started to pick up. Our speed workout on Thursday was a killer... today we are running 2.5 hours (which is less than I have been running on my long runs) but this time we run at an easy pace for 45, threshold for 15, easy for 45, threshold for 15 and then finish with an easy 15 minutes. I think the threshold parts are going to kill me. (easy, fast, easy, fast, easy- for clarification). Keep your fingers crossed. The good news, is we are going to run outside!! so... at least we will do this together. And there will be no quitting on each other. We had a very long talk about that after the last long run. We are a team until the gun goes off in Vermont... I think we need t-shirts... who's wants one?