Dear Duncan,

There have been so many moments in the past two years I regret. Times when I could have paid attention or just stopped by, but decided that I was too busy or told myself that I would go tomorrow. And now, there are no tomorrows and no more second chances. I have to live with knowing that I didn’t give my 100%, I have to live with knowing that your love was there and I didn’t capitalize on it. I let you down. I have guilt that I didn’t fight harder to keep you and I wasn’t willing to sacrifice my freedom to be with you. I am left with the feeling that you loved me better than I loved you.

My saving grace is that I left you with someone who loved you, who needed you more than me. It doesn’t mean I didn’t love you or that I didn’t regret my decision or I didn’t miss you. I believe that I made the best choice in the circumstances which were presented. I never stopped loving you. I never stopped smiling when I thought of you. I never stopped being in a better mood after a visit with you.

I am not good at goodbyes… But please know that you are in my heart forever. Charlie Baker will be there to greet you. Don’t be scared, we are setting you free- run fast, play nice and sleep knowing that you are truly loved.