Phew... I feel like I have had no vacation yet. i have found myself very busy with running, the house in lewiston and the dogs. i am feeling better about life today, but not the house in lewiston. But I can't dwell on that, i have spent far too much time on it today and the stress of it just makes me grumpy.
the bf has been real sweet the past couple days... it's like he has realized that maybe he does like me and that life is better with me in it. shocking that ANYONE would even have to think about that. I mean really- have we met?
I want to do something different this summer. I miss sitting on docks and listening to the water roll in. I miss the sand between my toes and they nothingness of living away from the busy world. I miss the quiet moments spent reading or day dreaming or watching the clouds roll by. I miss feeling relaxed and having fires at night and yes, drinking a few beers while sitting near that fire. I miss crawling into bed and feeling happy, content, satisfied, relaxed and smiling. I feel like when I am here there is always something to do, to take care of, something that I can't forget... I want simplicity. I want to get back to the basics and find myself and happiness. I want to reconnect with people... but not if they add complications. I want to have game nights and drink wine and laugh. I want to feel appreciated and loved and cared about. I want to love and care and smile at the wonderful afternoon I had. I want to camp and hike and find the beauty in the world around me.
I didn't realize I wanted so many things... now... I will lay awake and stress about how to make this happen. isn't that the way?
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