There are moments when I wonder if we truly are alone in the world. There are so many things I want from this life and I am not sure there is someone else out there that wants the same things. I am well aware that my every wish, desire and dream will be shared by another, but there has to be someone who wants at least similar things, right? Perhaps traveling through life alone is truly the way to go... no disappointment, no let downs, no feeling like the person you love doesn't get you. I am not saying I am unhappy... I just wonder if we (I mean all of us) are trying to create something that isn't natural.

Lewiston is a disaster. I have no words to describe how disgusted I was when I saw the condition of the first floor... I have had moments of thinking that DHHS should be called. Forget the holes in the walls or the crayon drawings on EVERY wall or the missing tiles in the kitchen or the layer of scum in the shower and sink or the slimey caked on mess or god knows what in the fridge... but the piles of poop in the kid's bedroom? GROSS. YUCK. NASTY. My stomach turns at the thought of people living that way... and at the thought of me having to clean it up. Fun times this vacation.

I miss Hi Rock and wish with all of my heart that I could go back... back to the place I feel most at home. I want to feel like me.