so my saga continues... last night i find out that not only will ben be gone at a frisbee tournament (yes, missing the celtics game on sunday) but yay- jess will be going too. oh and they will be staying in a hotel together. i do understand that they aren't the only two in the room, but really?
most of you would be proud. i didn't yell, i didn't cry, i didn't even make crazy demands. i just simply said, "how can you expect me to be ok with this? and what are you going to do to make it better?" and then i basically let the issue die. i will give ben credit, he said he would do anything i asked him to do... he wanted me to be more comfortable. i came up with a list of 7 things i needed him to do... one of which was get another hotel room. he agreed... but i think more because there were too many people for one room anyway. he also acknowledged that he knows this is hard for me and although he doesn't see an issue with it, that there must be a problem with it because i don't usually get upset about things.
he and i need to figure out some darn clear boundaries around this triangle we have going on. i know in the end that everything will be fine. he isn't going to be inappropriate with her and that when he comes home on sunday i am the person he wants to come home to. i know that he will miss me and will wish i was there because i am far more fun than anyone else at that silly tournament.
i think him being gone for the weekend will be good for me as well... i think i need to figure out what i want and how i can make that happen. i need to find that independent streak that i seem to have lost recently.
i did have some helpful advice from a few people- which i appreciate more than i can say. so, if anyone is around this weekend... i will be. a chick flick on sunday sounds great. and i am not afraid to go alone!!
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